There comes a moment when the reflection looking back at you feels unfamiliar. The colours, the shapes, even the expression – they all belong to a version of you that doesn’t quite fit anymore. That’s style amnesia. It creeps in quietly during life’s big shifts, such as a career change, menopause, having kids or an empty nest. Change may blur your sense of self, yet it also offers the perfect invitation to rediscover who you are now.
Style amnesia occurs when your outer expression fails to keep pace with your inner evolution. It’s not vanity; it’s identity.
Our wardrobes are more than storage; they’re stories of who we’ve been. When life moves forward and our clothes remain stuck in the past, that disconnect feels jarring. You might find yourself reaching for the same “safe” pieces, avoiding mirrors, or second-guessing what once came naturally.
Here’s an example of style amnesia:
I will always remember a client sharing with me an experience she had. Her typical work self-prescribed uniform was black pants and a black top. Safe and work-appropriate, but not very interesting. She was invited to a barbecue one weekend in spring, and thinking that the “black pants” outfit is always appropriate, that’s what she wore. When she got there, the other women at the barbecue were all wearing dresses, florals, and a riot of colours. This made my client feel completely out of place. The black and safe uniform suddenly felt completely off-kilter and out of place. She had gotten stuck in work mode for so long she forgot about what to wear to a relaxed social gathering.
Recognising style amnesia is the first step toward reclaiming confidence through self-expression.
1. Understanding Why Style Amnesia Happens
Style amnesia often follows major life transitions when the roles, routines, or identities that defined us begin to shift.
- Career changes alter how we want to project authority and authenticity.
- Menopause reshapes not only our bodies but also how we experience comfort and confidence.
- Empty nests can leave space for reinvention but also uncertainty about who we’re dressing for.
These moments can leave us suspended between who we were and who we’re becoming. Your old style might no longer emotionally fit, even if it still physically fits. That’s not failure; it’s evolution.
2. Let Go of Outdated Versions of You
Before you rebuild, release.
Keep only what aligns with who you are today, not who you were ten years ago. Ask yourself:
- Does this outfit still reflect my lifestyle?
- Do I feel confident when I wear it?
- Would I buy this now, knowing who I’ve become?
- Would I rebuy this from a thrift store now?
Letting go isn’t just about decluttering; it’s about making emotional space for your next chapter.
3. Reconnect with Your Current Identity
When your old wardrobe no longer reflects you, it’s time to get curious about who you are now.
Ask:
- What values feel most important to me in this season of life?
- How do I want my clothes to make me feel?
- What do I want my style to communicate – ease, creativity, authority, or joy?
Reclaiming your style starts with self-awareness. Think of it as meeting yourself again for the first time.
4. Rebuild from the Inside Out
Once you understand how you’ve changed, start rebuilding your wardrobe to reflect your new style.
Focus on:
- Colour: Choose tones that enhance your current complexion and energy, not what worked decades ago. You may need to get an update on your colour analysis if your hair colours has changed (or it was over 10 years ago that you had it done).
- Silhouette: Adapt shapes that honour your present body, not punish it. Your body will change with age, and sometimes we have to learn new guidelines on how to dress it. That’s OK! If you’re not sure what works for you now, my body shape calculator quiz is here to help and get you on your way!
- Comfort and confidence: What does comfort mean to you? How about confidence, and what makes you feel that way? Getting both in every outfit is your aim. It’s important to understand what comfort means to you – read my tips here
For me, I want clothes that move with me, that are physically comfortable, but also clothing that is an expression of my personality and makes me feel competent as well. That’s why I love an interesting blazer (like the one above from one of my favourite Melbourne brands, Once Was) with a denim skirt and flat boots. Easy and comfortable yet still smart and feels like me!
This is where practical meets personal – where your style begins to mirror your growth.
5. Redefine Style as Self-Expression, Not Obligation
You don’t need to “get your old style back.” You’re not going backwards. You’re building forward.
True style after transition isn’t about chasing trends or mimicking influencers. It’s about expressing your evolution. That might mean softer lines, stronger statements, or a touch of playfulness that was once felt to be out of reach.
When you dress in a way that reflects your current energy, you start to recognise yourself again.
6. Get Support in the Reinvention Process
Style reinvention doesn’t have to happen alone. Sometimes you need a roadmap to translate your transformation into your wardrobe.
My Midlife Style Reboot video masterclass (it’s free) offers a practical, empowering guide to rediscover your style after transition. It’s not about starting over; it’s about aligning your outer expression with who you are today.
Because when your wardrobe supports your growth, every mirror becomes a reflection of possibility.
KeyTakeaway
Style amnesia isn’t the end of your style story. It’s a pause before a new chapter. You haven’t lost your sense of style; you’ve outgrown the version that no longer fits. Your clothes are simply waiting to meet the woman you’ve become.
Further Reading
Finding Your Style at Any Age: A Guide to Dressing Sharp and Feeling Confident
How to Rediscover Your Style After Your Body Shape Has Changed
How Your Clothes Impact Your Confidence: Unveiling the Power of Personal Style
8 Ways to Use Fashion to Reflect Your Core Values
