Photos by Lyndsay Hannah Photography
“We’re a hosting house,” says bestselling poet Kate Baer. “Our family culture is, ‘Let’s have people over!’” She lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, with her husband, four kids, three cats, and dog named Maybe (as in “maybe we’ll get a dog”). Here, Kate reflects on marriage, parenting, and writing, and shares the toy her kids are still fighting over…
LIBRARY
Wall paint color: Benjamin Moore. Ceiling fixture: Home Depot. Rug: West Elm via Facebook Marketplace (“12 years ago!”), similar. Entry table: Facebook Marketplace.
On finding a dream home: My friend’s mom lived in this house for many years and actually raised her own four children here. I never thought it would be my house! But in 2021, we bought it from the family and have been slowly making it our own.
Bookcase paint color: Benjamin Moore. Table, chairs and rug: hand-me-downs from relatives.
On recently loved books: I was bowled over by The Correspondent, a warm, exquisite novel by Virginia Evans. Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino was absolutely stunning. And I inhaled Heart the Lover so quickly, it went up my nose and out my eyeballs.
Flower photo: Jamie Beck. Sofa: Poly & Bark. Stool: Home Goods, similar.
On a beloved piece of art: The Jamie Beck photograph on the left is my most prized art piece. She sent it to me because she said it reminded her of my first book cover.
On board games: There are tons of memes about how people don’t want to play games, but I actually think they do. You don’t have to play games the whole time you’re hanging out! Spoons is so much fun for adults, while kids are watching a movie. Other popular games in our household include Fishbowl, Mafia, and Codenames.
LIVING ROOM
Paint: Benjamin Moore. Sofa: Interiors Home, similar.
On a very glam piano: The piano came with the house. It belonged to my friend’s grandmother, Lucille, so we call the piano Lucille in her honor. I feel like Elton John when I sit down to play. Some of my kids take lessons, and it’s my dream for all of them to be able to play at least one song.
Print: Etsy. Chair: Interiors Home, similar.
On sneaking in plants: I have a hard time picking decor, so I just put plants everywhere. They bring so much life and beauty to a space. I slyly collect them and hope that my husband, Austin, won’t kill me because he’s the one who cares for them all.
On the best spot in the house: The kids gravitate to this chair to do their homework. I love reading here in the evening. Everyone fights over that chair, but it’s mine.
KITCHEN
Table: made by Austin, Kate’s husband. Chairs: “My parents got them off the side of the road for $40 ten years ago.”
On the joy of hosting: Gathering people together and fostering community is something I work really hard at. We’ve hosted fall fests, as well as movie nights in the basement. We invite people over every Fourth of July and every New Year’s Eve. There’s a misconception that you need a perfect home to host. But I was doing this when our family of six lived in 1,200 square feet. When I’m invited somewhere, I could not care less about what the kitchen backsplash looks like or what we eat for dinner. Being welcomed into someone else’s home is such a gift.
On swinging stools: They’re squeaky as hell because they’re like 30 years old, but it’s so easy to sweep under them. More people need stools like these.
On country living: After dinner, my husband and I try to leave our phones behind and walk our dog in our neighbors’ fields. On warm days, we’ll drag chairs to the front yard hill and look across the valley. Even if we sit in silence, it’s just nice to be together.
On special souvenirs: We take an annual family vacation to Florida, where we all love hunting for shark teeth. I got a big shadow box and my husband glued them in. He also put one sneaky shell in there. We tell any kids who come over, ‘There’s one thing in there that’s not a shark tooth.’ It takes forever to find.
On playlists: Every night, I play the same dinner playlist. It’s French café vibes, very low key. The music tells everyone that it’s time to come to the table. I have a Saturday morning playlist that I turn on when we’re getting our chores done so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend. I have a writing playlist and a playlist to pump myself up before going out on the town. Every routine gets a playlist — they’re such a nice way to signal where we are in our day.
STAIRS
On a controversial print: My friend’s mom, the former owner, picked out the leopard print runner. Everyone called her crazy and said she’d regret it, but she never did. We’ve changed a lot of things since we bought the house, so this carpet is a nice reminder of who lived here before us.
On the family cats: One day, a cat showed up on our property. My youngest, the first grader, named him Hot Dog. We got George and Kimberly a year ago. My soul-cat had passed away, and we were looking to add some new friends into our lives.
PRIMARY BEDROOM
Bed and bedside tables: Warbler Woodworks.
On an oasis: I always wanted a bedroom that felt like sleeping on a cloud, and I feel such deep peace when I’m in this room. We kept it very minimal and mostly white, which feels very different from the rest of the house.
Chair: Facebook Marketplace.
On a sweet holdover: When I was younger, I started dating this guy. It felt very casual, so I put him in my phone as Boyfriend. Then, on our wedding day, one of my friends grabbed my phone to change it to Husband, and I said, ‘Oh, please don’t do that!’ There’s something about Boyfriend. It just feels a little bit sexier and cuter. I’ll never change it.
OFFICE (BEDROOM CLOSET)
On squeezing in work: I dropped out of my MFA program when I got pregnant. My husband was in med school, and realistically, we couldn’t pursue both at the same time. Since only one of those paths definitively makes money, it was very easy to decide which one to prioritize when we were talking about finances and having a family. Still, I wrote when I could.
On self-motivation: I say this to young writers all the time: “No one else cares if you write a book or not. You have to care. No one’s going to make you sit down and write. It’s up to you to do that.”
On a room of one’s own: In our last home, every inch of the house was taken, so there was no room for me to have an office or even a desk in a corner. So, I wrote my first book and a lot of the second one at a nearby Panera Bread. The staff there was so kind to me. When the pandemic happened, I wrote in their parking lot, stealing WiFi and turning the car’s heater on and off.
BATHROOM
On parenting four kids: I’ve found that having four kids does two things: It makes you extremely organized and also extremely laid back. Because there are so many of them, you have to let things go, but then you also have to focus on what is most important. So, the house isn’t picked up, but everyone had dinner.
On toys: I don’t really buy toys, and I haven’t for a long time. And yet, they’re everywhere. I don’t know where they’re coming from. I don’t know how they get into the house.
BASEMENT
On a knockout gift: My daughter got aerial silks last Christmas, and my kids fight over them more than anything else. My daughter does tricks, while the boys just swing and crash into each other. The kits are easy to find online, but the tricky part is anchoring it to the ceiling. It needs to be very secure.
On ageless toys: My youngest is in first grade, and my oldest is in ninth. There aren’t many things that all the kids want to do together, but Legos are definitely a unifier. I try to have times where the while family comes together, at least once or twice a week. That could be a sit-down dinner, a round of cards, or talking while putting Legos together.
Thank you so much, Kate! And congrats on How About Now.
P.S. Kate’s beauty uniform, a funny evening with Kate and Joanna, and Kate’s rules for her forties over on Big Salad.
(Photos by Lyndsay Hannah Photography for Cup of Jo.)
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