See that photo above? One of those guys is former Van Halen and solo artist Sammy Hagar. The other is Ronnie Putnam, 58, of Summersville, IL, who committed crimes while trying to impersonate Hagar.
According to Yahoo! News, Putnam entered multiple establishments – including two banks and a vape shop – claiming to be Hagar and trying to open accounts under the name Sammy Hagar Enterprises, LLC. Which is incredibly ballsy considering Putnam looks roughly zero percent like Hagar outside the fact that he’s a white dude with vaguely blonde-ish hair, kind of.
Where this gets even better is that apparently Putnam sang an a cappella version of Hagar’s 1984 hit “I Can’t Drive 55” to prove that he was Hagar. If anyone has video of that, please – the world needs to see this. Also, I’m not sure if Putnam has ever heard of things like “literally any fucking form of identification,” but that probably would’ve happened.
Oh, and then there’s this insane quote which is either a joke or dead serious: “He said he was on tour but needed to cash a royalty check,” a bank teller told police. “He was wearing red sunglasses and smelled faintly of margarita mix, so I thought it was actually him.”
Putnam was arrested on October 18 after presenting a homemade ID card that read “Sammy Hagar, Rock God” because of course he did. Putnam faces charges of fraud and disorderly conduct and reportedly shouted “I can’t drive to jail” when arrested.
Honestly? Fuck it. Putnam for President in 2028.
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